I never give up; I just change my mind

Adapting the Goal

The past few months have been a whirlwind of change. Changing jobs, changing homes, changing Lorelei’s school- wait did she just say? Yes, I did. School. But, wasn’t the whole point to keep Lorelei out of the masochistic institution that grinds out semi-literate neophytes and engage in a bohemian, offbeat lifestyle that will breed an amazing, objectivist freethinker? Why, yes, so kind of you to remember! So what’s the deal?

Work Happened

The year began with me happily situated in a Production Coordinator position at a national TV network. While the work was good and the people were fabulous, I outgrew the job and searched the big, wide world over for a new opportunity. I had interviews in New York, Philadelphia and Pinellas Park (now there’s a spread) and finally settled in as a Project Manager for a marketing solutions company working with a humongous financial institution. Now, when I say, “settled”, I mean “slumped”. Full on, weight-gaining misery that sucked my soul dry on a daily basis. After 88 whole days I found myself a brand=spanking-new job as Program Manager at a boutique marketing agency based in Ybor City. Please note the double promotion in the span of 4 months; pretty awesome if I do say so myself. Goodbye corporate soul-suckers, hello 90-minute commute and awesome work environment.

With the additional miles and hours required in my new gig and my Tarpon Springs home base, I could no longer keep Lorelei at her amazing babysitter’s. Two months of hand wringing and option-trying I:

• Interviewed nine nannies
• Tried to negotiate flexible work hours
• Worked through lunch
• Rushed through traffic
• Emailed from the car
• Pieced together a four-person child care team
• Desperately tried to homeschool in the hour between getting home, dinner time, bath time, bed time and back on the road again before the sun had risen
• Induced separation anxiety in Lorelei so she would no longer sleep in her own bed and develop tummy trouble
• Stopped even trying to keep a clean house or cook homemade meals

If you think life was unbearable, you’re right. Something had to give. The job? The sitter? The home? My sanity?

But I Hate Schools!

I visited several schools close to my work. My generous mother visited every Montessori school in the Tampa Bay Area. And while so many of them had positive points, there was always some detraction that I couldn’t overcome. The hours, the reputation, the staff. Something was always just a little off. Let’s not even talk about trying to fund this little venture. On a whim I put Lorelei on the waiting list at Christ the King School. Alumni of this school include, my sister, my aunt, my cousins, my mother and myself. Talk about a recommendation! Within days of my throwing in the towel the secretary, the same secretary that used to take my temperature when I was in Kindergarten called to say CKS had an opening. Finally! A school I can trust! For crying out loud, my 1^st, 4^th, 6^th and 8^th grade teachers were still there. People who knew me and watched my sister and I grow up were still there. They remembered us; the school hadn’t changed. Best of all, they are 15 minutes from work!

How is it different than that nightmare scenario I was trying to avoid?

I can be a part of Lorelei’s day

• Guest Reader
• Volunteer
• Constant communication with the teaching staff
• Family events nearly every other weekend
• The opportunity to stop in whenever I want

Private Schools make their own rules

• Input in curriculum
• Standards set by the parents
• A firm expectation that parents stay involved

Providing a foundation

• I am not religious but I’m glad Lorelei is getting that foundation that I am familiar with. It gives us a jumping off point to tackle questions of faith and theology
• I encourage individuality at every turn but I’m not very good about encouraging cooperation with the outside world. CKS encourages more cooperative interactions and while the groupthink is a little much for me, again, a balance.

So what? You’re just giving up?

Absolutely not! Bat Country is in full swing. We learn French in the car through audiobooks (j’taime bebe), read novels instead of slumping in front of the TV, work through our homeschool books and complete CKS homework with our own personal twist. We’re moving to Tampa to be closer to work and school and cutting expenses to move our learning experience from the living room to great big world. We’re minimizing the superfluous and focusing on the substantial. You thought we were going to stay on the same straight and narrow? Have you met us?

Remember kids…we can’t stop here, this is Bat Country.

If by Rudyard Kipling

If I can live my life with these words in mind and teach my daughter to do the same, I'll know I've succeeded. For a truly wonderful interpretation click through.

Rudyard Kipling
If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Mini-me

I forget what little mirrors these critters can be. Until I hear a sarcastic tone I didn't realize was in my voice echoed from my little monster. Or when Lorelei brings me a cool cloth for my head because she knows I'm not feeling well. Or when she sits at her desk studiously writing in her workbooks because she saw my working on countless spreadsheets. Of course I try not to cuss around her and I save the keggers for when she's sleeping over somewhere else (joking Nana), but I've come to realize that my good and bad habits are reflected through her in almost real time.

Routines are Flexible
Not too long ago we would come home and each plop in front of a TV; she watching cartoons and I HGTV. We ate somewhere in there and made our way to bed eventually. However, a couple of weeks ago, we came home and I forgot to turn the TV on. We had to walk the dog and get something out of the car and it just never came up. While taking trips outside, Lorelei made a dinner request, so we cooked together. When that was over it was bath time then bedtime and lo and behold we had completely missed Dora, Glee, Backyardigans, everything! And the Earth continued to turn. I didn't want to make a big thing of it so the next day I "forgot" to turn on the TV and plop and sure enough, we walked to the local beach and Lorelei splashed in the waves while I read my Kindle. A few more days of "forgetfullness" and we've completely changed our routine. We're eating better because I can focus on the task of preparing dinner while she takes care of the puppy and settles in (comfy clothes and all). The house is cleaner because I can do productive chores rather than my TV chores (I mean honestly, how many House Hunters must I watch?) Turns out, those ruts aren't so hard to break.

Gradulation (typo intentional)
I graduated from University of South Florida last Thursday with a BA in Psychology. I began courses in the Fall of 2003 and now, May of 2011 I finally made it to the cap and gown, traipse across the stage bit. I sat amidst kids who still thought it the ultimate rebellion to show up to graduation drunk or high. I posed for pictures with the college president whom I'd never met before but congratulated me as if she had been at my first grade pageant. And afterwards, my family and friends gathered to celebrate. The whole process was a bit surreal. As I walked across the stage, I looked up and could see Lorelei waving from a balcony. Truth be told, I spent most of the ceremony reading on my Kindle while the other 1,400 graduates each got their hands shaken. But when I saw her jumping up and down and waving, I lost it. My little girl. My baby who has her own duster so she can "clean like Mommy" and her own pots and pans so she can "cook like Mommy" and even had me cut her hair "short like Mommy" just saw Mommy graduate. Over the past 4 years Lorelei has watched Mommy do homework, study, take exams and go to classes. Now she wants to "gradulate just like Mommy".

Why "Bat Country"?

After several inquisitive and not so indirect comments about the title of my blog, I feel obliged to let ya'll in on a little secret. What is Bat Country and why would I name a blog about Home Schooling it?

We can't stop here...

Hunter S. Thompson. Granted not the role model most mothers have and I'm certainly not having Lorelei learn grammar from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, but there is a point to the quote I've chosen for this crazy mixed-up lifestyle. "We can't stop here, this is bat country". As Dr. Gonzo and Raul Duke are careening towards Las Vegas in Thompson's story-turned-Johnny Depp-movie, they are loaded up on so many mind-altering substances and drugs most of us have never before heard of, Duke starts to hallucinate. Hundreds of flying bats fill the sky while his "lawyer" tans himself in the passenger seat of their convertible. It's madness. It's hilarious, truer than most of us like to admit madness.

...this is bat country!

We all have our stories. Let's face it, we're all the star of our own movies. So I'm not going to claim that I've had a better or worse life than anyone else. I can say, though, that for me, it's been quite a ride and I'm just beginning. At this pace, God help me at 50. Life, parenthood, career, school, family, friends, love - very little of it is simple, none of it is easy and the best plan is to keep going. Keep moving, keep growing and improving and learning and failing and succeeding and traveling. I don't want to stop! Not here. Not when there is so much to do and see.

This isn't just a blog about Home Schooling. It's about living a life like no other. If that means freeing ourselves from regimented curriculum and arbitrary school calendars, then rock on. Lorelei is already getting a education beyond what VPK can give her. Let's learn by doing! Let's learn by trying and exploring.

Lorelei and I. This is our life. A life like no other; one that is constantly in motion and filled with love and adventure.

Juggling Life and Learning

I keep hearing and seeing these commercials about supermoms. There's the TBO.com one where the mom sings about all the different practices and pets and demands on her time. There's the one with the air freshener that freshens while you take care of kids and meet with your friends and watch movies. There's even one where the mom freezes time to enjoy her cup of coffee while her children dump juice on her pristine carpet and her husband thoughtlessly wrecks the living room with his neanderthal friends.
I can relate to none of these!

Life for me is much more like that Family Guy commercial with Stewie pestering Lois. After a long day of being pecked to death by chickens (or what you call "work") I go home to the woodepecker extraordinaire. And I must admit there are evenings when I'd rather turn on Cat and the Hat and escape to my nice, quiet room than drill Lorelei on how to say "Hello" in four langauges. (Believe it or not she can actually differentiate 'Bonjour' as 'French' and "Hola' as 'Spanish')

For all of you moms out there wringing your hands and straining your sanity, it's okay. Being Super Woman sometimes means getting the kids fed and not drop-kicking them out of the window. Then again, there are days when they surprise you.

Last night, my little learner structured her very own home school experience...for both of us. As I was dragging my tired, pecked-out rear home, she chirpily demanded to go to the YMCA. "But, honey, wouldn't you rather go home and order a pizza and watch Tinker Bell?" "Maybe later, Mommy" Who is this child and where did she come from? So, fine, we'll go but I'm not going to like it.

Once there, she promptly took over the game of toss in the Kid Zone and I felt obligated to memorize some of my favorite poems in French while treadmilling (it's a word now!). I felt better and learned the first stanza to Kipling's If in French. Score one for the little monster.

Finally home, I go to plop my sweatiness on the couch and little Miss L directs me to her desk where she insists on doing 10 workbook pages of Color by Number, Letters, Basic Addition and all other sorts of goodies. Seriously, what four year old chooses schoolwork over TV? Mine! And of course, I feel like a heel loafing in front of House Crashers so I guess I could get caught up on my own homework...

Of course we finally get to the point where it bed time and can you believe that little monster wants to cuddle? I mean, what's with cuteness? Here I am, totally set on having a meaningless waste of a night and she goes and ruins it with exercise and learning and family time. Moral of the story (oh yes, there is one): Being a family sometimes means dragging each other kicking and screaming in the right direction. Did I teach her that or did she teach me?

Now if only I could remind her of that when I prying her out of bed in the morning...

Toodles from Bat Country

How to Live on 24 Hours a Day

Recently I finished an amazing book by Arnold Bennett (1867 - 1931) called How to Live on 24 a Day. While some may lower its status by referring to it as a mere 'self-help' book, I found it to be an astute satire on the most common of human complaints, there's never enough time.

Of course you should read it yourself, I mean it's free on Kindle for crying out loud. But I love reading bullet points or numbered lists (7 Fat Burning Foods, Do's and Don'ts of Job Hunting) so here's some clever wisdom from the 101 year old text.

• Every person in the world is equal - seriously. No one gets more time in their day than anyone else. Michelle Obama, Lindsey Lohan and I all get 24 hours. That's it! There's no bonus or penalty. 24 hours. How you spend it is your own business, but they are yours to spend. Which brings me to...
• Take your time back - all of that time spent waiting can be better spent on yourself. This doesn't mean giving yourself a manicure a stop light, although I have been known to sneak in a touch-up if time allows. It means rather than giving away your time to bad music or trite talk-show hosts, focus on accomplishing something. Even if that accomplishment is to relax yourself. Those precious moments when you are literally tied to a chair and forced to be still can be put to good use.
• Claim your time at home - find that time that seems to disappear between work and bed and do something with it. Improve yourself one way or another which takes us to...
• Classic Literature is no the only way to improve yourself - improvement comes in all forms. Sure you could take your time to learn a language or study quantum physics but if that's not what makes you a better person you've just given yourself to another obligation to dread
• Take it in stride - if this week you forget to relax or reclaim your time. Cool it! You can try again next week. Or tomorrow. Or in a few minutes. The absolute goal is one you will never achieve.

Now, these are not new theories by any means but they are said in such a way that makes you feel quite silly for ever forgetting them. Many of the concepts are the basis of Cognitive Psychology or many other forms of self-exploration.

The take away: It's your life! You're not living it for anyone else, so why are you following their rules? Live like no other.
Happy trails from Bat Country

Field Trip

Home School Field Trips

Establishments like Busch Gardens and Lowry Park Zoo have done an amazing job of introducing field trips and events targeted to Home Schoolers. It's a chance to meet other families as well as let your child experience a 'class field trip', a highlight for any kid. To find home school field trips at a park or venue near you, simply Google "(place name) home school". Most have a web page specifically designated for Home Schoolers.

What makes a home school field trip different then just visiting?

• A guided tour.
• A preset itinerary.
• A group experience.
• Relaxed attendance requirements (you don't need a minimum number of students).
• It's cheaper (We paid $15 for both of us when it normally costs about $50 each)

I took Lorelei on her first field trip this past Monday. Zoo School at Busch Gardens, Tampa. Needless to say, I was thrilled to pieces to take my little princess on her first honest to goodness field trip. So excited was I that I even fudged her age a bit (she can pass for a Kindergartner) what's the harm? Famous...last...words...

Itinerary

• Serengeti Express
• A train ride through the animal habitat (antelope, giraffe, rhino, ostrich, zebras)with brief facts on each and some shout-out-your-answer games
• Conservation Video @ Timbuktu's 4-D Theater
• The video was a bit obtuse but the baby animals were cute and we got a brief geography lesson traveling from Africa to Australia to Florida (yeah, I didn't think they quite equated either). Afterwards they brought out a few animals (llama, mini-cheetah, monkey), all of which Lorelei wanted to pet. But alas, no petting to be had.
• Feeding the Meerkats
• They are so stinking cute! The instructor explained habitats and social structure. The kids threw worms over the fence to feed the meerkats. Overall, good fun.
• Lunchtime
• Bring your own or sneak off to the snack stand
• Turtle Time
• A little origami activity that gave the kids a time to interact with each other and a few lessons on the structure of a shell
• Animal Encounter
• A classroom setting where kids get to meet and discuss a baby alligator, lemur and I think a bird but we had to leave before that.
• Lions and Hyenas
• Don't pet the kitty, honey. Hanging out in the "den" with protective glass between us and the animals. Another fact-finding game that was way over Lorelei's head
• Go Home
• Thank the Lord I'm free!

Age Ranges

When they say "K-12" they mean "sure, you could bring a 5 year old and an 18 year old." Guess what kids? While little Lo' can read way beyond her peers and has some pretty witty banter, she cannot sit still in a room with a fuzzy animal and listen to an instructor. Ain't happenin'. In fact, doing so may result in a meltdown of cataclysmic proportions and no one to blame but dear old mom who thought, "How different is 4 and 5, really?" Turns out, there is a big difference and even 5 would be pushing it. My rush to try "big kid" activities resulted in both of us in tears. This event was better suited for the 8 - 12 age range.

I don't blame Lorelei for her tantrum although we did have a little chatty about "good girl" vs. "bad girl" on the drive home. This one falls on me. Turns out, at this age, calm and controlled isn't so bad. We would have done better on our own, at our own pace. Next time, I'll take some cues from the established itinerary and tailor it to what is appropriate for Lorelei's age and maturity. Oh wait, that's why I chose Home Schooling in the first place!

Recovering in Bat Country

About the 100 Thing Challenge | A Guy Named Dave

Just because I have my own blog doesn't mean I've stopped reading others. Here's a fun experiment to find out what really matters. Even if you don't actually limit yourself to 100 things. Could you identify the 100 things you can't live without. We are not talking about being on a desert island and you have to eat and such. This is more if you moved to a 500 sq. ft. apartment and had no storage, what would you need day-to-day.

Once you get to that point, could you be happy living a minimalist lifestyle? Don't ask me, I've never tried, and as long as there is a TJ Maxx near me, I may never succeed, but it's an interesting concept and one I'm going to give a whirl. What the hey, we'll call it my Lenten goal.
About the 100 Thing Challenge A Guy Named Dave

Making everything a learning experience

One of the first fears I had about embarking on the Home Schooling of my poor unsuspecting little girl was that I was going to somehow warp her mind and stunt her growth by not teaching her whatever it is they teach in school. After reading countless blogs and books and articles and well-meaning posts I'm a little more comfortable with the "world as a classroom".


Turns out, everything we as adults take for granted is brand-spanking new to the little monster. All of a sudden, every little errand becomes a field trip and every mundane chore a lesson. Now I'm not saying every day is a picnic or I've turned into a Duggar, I'm just saying I think I'm really going to like spending time with my daughter that doesn't revolve around taking turns on who gets to pick the TV show.


A comparison of Kindergarten Math (30 minutes)


In school: Lorelei would be given a worksheet of triangles and squares, something akin to "square, square, triangle, square, square, ______" what comes next? Lorelei walks away with a gold star and secure in the knowledge that she can keep up with the rest of the class.


At home: While making lasagna, we discuss what our favorite ingredients are, Lorelei mixes learns the names of and mixes three different kinds of cheese, pick our fresh herbs from the garden, and determine a pattern of Noodles, Cheese, Vegetables, Sauce. While the lasagna cooks, we go on a little nature walk, learn about mushroom, read street signs, identify and pick flowers and discuss her day at the baby sitter's. At the table we decide squash is better the zucchini because yellow is prettier than green but both are good because they are healthy vegetables.


Home: 1 - School: 0


Farewell from Bat Country

Because I can...

Hello world. Not that any one's reading this yet but you will. I suppose I'll start with introductions.


My name is Amanda and I have no idea how I got here. Scratch that, I have a very good idea as to how I got here but I can't remember sitting down and plotting out my course to end up here. In fact, I don't remember plotting any course. Yesterday I was ditching Spanish II to walk down to McD's and today I'm writing curriculum notes to home school my daughter.

That about sums it up I suppose. But for those of you who like a little more information. I am a single (okay divorced but I hate saying it) mom of an amazing little girl who some days I want to drop kick. I work too hard for a national TV network (don't want to say who because I'm not really sure about legality and such).


Why am I blogging? Because after weeks of searching I have yet to find a truly helpful resource in single-parenting, fully-employed home schooling. Then there's the strange yet hard-won lessons of living 40 years in the span of 25 (I get a lot done in a day). That and I love to write but don't have the attention span (or time) for the Great American Novel.

So the hope is to a get a little something started. Some insights from the front line on what it's like to raise, support and teach a child while investing in your body, mind, soul and career.

If I haven't scared you away yet, welcome to the Great American Experiment. The new generation of movers and shakers.

Welcome to Bat Country