Welcome Back to Bat Country

Well, hello! Fancy meeting you here. Come here often? I’m so sorry for my extended absence. As most moms can attest, time has gotten away from me but let’s see if I can catch you up. I’ve switched jobs, homes, schools, philosophies and hair styles. Lorelei is 5 going on 15 and we’ve made some serious sacrifices and decisions in the past several months. Now that we’ve settled into our routine a bit more, it’s time to get back in the saddle. With homeschooling, blogging and overall awesomeness. So with that being said, you can look forward to the following and much more

• Private School Problems: Parts 2 and 3
• Moving the Career Forward
• Summer Education Options
• The Sweet Life of Single Motherhood
• Public School Involvement

So please, please, please forgive me and I hope I can make it up to you with stimulating reading material or at least something for you to openly mock.

Welcome back to Bat Country

Private School Problems (part 1 of a 3 parter)

Hello my fellow crazies. My sympathetic moms and dads who barely remember the blur that was January.  Where have I been? Don't ask me, in my mind it's still November. But the calendar tells me different and my bank account shows the scars of a holiday season and fifth birthday party and thus I must admit that time is indeed passing. And what, pray tell, have we been up to?

Lorelei is adjusting quite well to the school environment. She's making friends and going to birthday parties and every few months or so I get to attend a PTA meeting where I am shamelessly guilted into giving even more money to the school for various improvements and fundraisers. They take off every conceivable holiday which means I am constantly looking for childcare options. Lorelei comes home reciting dogma that she cannot explain and I'm still having to explain to people the arbitrary laws that prohibit my well-read daughter from skipping this Letter-of-the-Week routine and skipping to Kindergarten or even 1st grade. Long story short- this is pretty much what I expected. However it's not all negative. In fact, let's take a look at the balance:

You can see the frustration. I'm sticking with the decision that Christ the King was the best choice given the circumstances, but I'm not too sure how sustainable it is for us in the long term. We have a few more months before summer vacation hits and that is putting the decisions into an even harsher perspective given that I've blown my whole childcare budget and still have two unaccounted for months to...well...account for!

The questions are endless and the issues mounting and time is running out.

Non Illegitimi Carborundum,

Bat Country

Objectivist Homeschooling

I must share this amazing website http://strongbrains.com/

It contains reading lists centered around an objectivist philosophy for all ages. And not simply philosophy books; history and literature and math and science and technology.

I've been searching high and low for like-minded materials. Finally!

Minimalism: Step One

Inspired by blogs such as zen habits, Exile Lifestyle, The Minimalists, Marc and Angel Hack Life, and of course the desire to look at an immaculate house, I've decided to see how much I can "minimize" and truly embrace the minimal lifestyle. I mean, let's face it, if Lorelei and I are ever to become the truly counter-culture world travelers, we're not going to be able to drag along the large amount of crap- I mean belongings currently filling our 1,400 sq. ft. apartment. I knew it would be challenging, but I've been working on this list (some people have gotten their possessions down to less than 100 things) for a few days now and I've reached 400 and that's only off of the top of my head. Forget the things in drawers, in boxes and shelves I'm too short to see without a boost. I wasn't hoping to get down to 100 or even 200 but seriously, I cannot complain about money...ever! I keep a relatively clean apartment (some have called it sterile, but the OCD in me knows this to be a fallacy). Lorelei and I tidy up when needed and the dog knows better than to make more work for me so all in all, I've got it under control. So how did I end up with so much stuff?

Donations

Three years ago I became a divorcee. Neither my happiest time nor my most financially secure. With Grim determination, I found a job and a furnished apartment and packed up a sedan-worth of stuff to start my new life with my then one year old bundle of giggles. Towards the end of the lease and as Florida's snow bird season was kicking into high gear, I needed to find a new place and fast and the furnished places sky-rocketed in rent. I was in no position to turn up my nose at charity:

·         Church friends: kitchen setup and dining room table

·         Work colleagues: couch

·         Friends: queen size bed (shared with my daughter for the first several months)

·         Family: various tables, my TV from my first apartment out of high school that somehow made it back to my mother’s and a toddler bed from my sister

·         Myself: clothes and a few photos and albums

Making Something Out of Very Little

That was it: my little palace for me and the princess. Back then I didn’t call it minimalism; I called it poverty. But slowly I worked and saved and spent. Tax refunds, child support, over time; it all went to making our apartment a home. TJ Maxx, NY & Co., Target; I could afford to get another TV with my HSN discount. Lorelei got books and toys and I got sheets that weren’t hand-me-downs (I just tried not to think about it really). Present day – quite a comfortable little setup if I do say so myself. I still have some of the donations, some of which I donated myself to other people in need. My sister came through with a bigger bed for Lorelei when she outgrew the toddler bed and now we only sleep together when she wants to cuddle. I’ve managed to acquire more then I’ve dumped. And this bothers me.

I never want Lorelei to go without, but all of this stuff- we don’t need it. What we need is the cash that went into acquiring it. What we need is the peace of mind of knowing where everything is and that we are not living in a wasteful manner but a sustainable (not quite hemp crazy but) healthy way. Seriously! What do you say to a little girl who looks around a store and says, “Mommy, let’s get more stuff!” From the mouths of babes, right?

Step One: No More Stuff!

I love to shop. Especially for “useful” stuff like school supplies, kitchen gadgets and storage boxes. Anything promising organization – I want 10! But no more. Family and friends out there, “No more stuff please!” Unless it is going to replace something I already have that doesn’t work anymore, take that money and donate it in my name. Lorelei? Well, she’s a kid; and a darn cute one if I must say so I won’t deprive ya’ll of getting her fun stuff, just have mercy on the one who has to pick up after her.

Step Two: Purge, Baby, Purge!

I will not bore you nor embarrass myself by publishing my ever-growing list of stuff. I will however let you know of things I have deemed superfluous. Like sundresses I would never leave the house in or shoes with the heel worn off. Or five down comforters (not making that one up). Never fear, it will all go to a good place. No trash dumps. And the goal is not to replace it with more stuff. I may never get to 100 things or even 200 but let’s start investing and stop spending.

A few places to unload your stuff for a good cause

• Freecycle - a network of local groups that post anything and everything from coupons to couches; all you have to do is call the poster (a normal yocal just like yourself) and come pick it up. The only requirement: it has to be free
• National Furniture Bank - unwanted furniture for those in need
• Salvation Army - heard of 'em?
• Pick Up Please - they'll come to your house and take your unwanted clothes
• any local church or charity - you don't want me to do all of the work for you, do you? Get Googling!

Or sell it

• Craigslist - just be careful, k?
• Amazon - be good kids. No one wants dud stuff
• E-Bay - a given, I know, but here's a nifty link
• Garage/rummage/yard/estate sales - everything for $1!

Happy Hunting from Bat Country

If by Rudyard Kipling

If I can live my life with these words in mind and teach my daughter to do the same, I'll know I've succeeded. For a truly wonderful interpretation click through.

Rudyard Kipling
If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Mini-me

I forget what little mirrors these critters can be. Until I hear a sarcastic tone I didn't realize was in my voice echoed from my little monster. Or when Lorelei brings me a cool cloth for my head because she knows I'm not feeling well. Or when she sits at her desk studiously writing in her workbooks because she saw my working on countless spreadsheets. Of course I try not to cuss around her and I save the keggers for when she's sleeping over somewhere else (joking Nana), but I've come to realize that my good and bad habits are reflected through her in almost real time.

Routines are Flexible
Not too long ago we would come home and each plop in front of a TV; she watching cartoons and I HGTV. We ate somewhere in there and made our way to bed eventually. However, a couple of weeks ago, we came home and I forgot to turn the TV on. We had to walk the dog and get something out of the car and it just never came up. While taking trips outside, Lorelei made a dinner request, so we cooked together. When that was over it was bath time then bedtime and lo and behold we had completely missed Dora, Glee, Backyardigans, everything! And the Earth continued to turn. I didn't want to make a big thing of it so the next day I "forgot" to turn on the TV and plop and sure enough, we walked to the local beach and Lorelei splashed in the waves while I read my Kindle. A few more days of "forgetfullness" and we've completely changed our routine. We're eating better because I can focus on the task of preparing dinner while she takes care of the puppy and settles in (comfy clothes and all). The house is cleaner because I can do productive chores rather than my TV chores (I mean honestly, how many House Hunters must I watch?) Turns out, those ruts aren't so hard to break.

Gradulation (typo intentional)
I graduated from University of South Florida last Thursday with a BA in Psychology. I began courses in the Fall of 2003 and now, May of 2011 I finally made it to the cap and gown, traipse across the stage bit. I sat amidst kids who still thought it the ultimate rebellion to show up to graduation drunk or high. I posed for pictures with the college president whom I'd never met before but congratulated me as if she had been at my first grade pageant. And afterwards, my family and friends gathered to celebrate. The whole process was a bit surreal. As I walked across the stage, I looked up and could see Lorelei waving from a balcony. Truth be told, I spent most of the ceremony reading on my Kindle while the other 1,400 graduates each got their hands shaken. But when I saw her jumping up and down and waving, I lost it. My little girl. My baby who has her own duster so she can "clean like Mommy" and her own pots and pans so she can "cook like Mommy" and even had me cut her hair "short like Mommy" just saw Mommy graduate. Over the past 4 years Lorelei has watched Mommy do homework, study, take exams and go to classes. Now she wants to "gradulate just like Mommy".

Why "Bat Country"?

After several inquisitive and not so indirect comments about the title of my blog, I feel obliged to let ya'll in on a little secret. What is Bat Country and why would I name a blog about Home Schooling it?

We can't stop here...

Hunter S. Thompson. Granted not the role model most mothers have and I'm certainly not having Lorelei learn grammar from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, but there is a point to the quote I've chosen for this crazy mixed-up lifestyle. "We can't stop here, this is bat country". As Dr. Gonzo and Raul Duke are careening towards Las Vegas in Thompson's story-turned-Johnny Depp-movie, they are loaded up on so many mind-altering substances and drugs most of us have never before heard of, Duke starts to hallucinate. Hundreds of flying bats fill the sky while his "lawyer" tans himself in the passenger seat of their convertible. It's madness. It's hilarious, truer than most of us like to admit madness.

...this is bat country!

We all have our stories. Let's face it, we're all the star of our own movies. So I'm not going to claim that I've had a better or worse life than anyone else. I can say, though, that for me, it's been quite a ride and I'm just beginning. At this pace, God help me at 50. Life, parenthood, career, school, family, friends, love - very little of it is simple, none of it is easy and the best plan is to keep going. Keep moving, keep growing and improving and learning and failing and succeeding and traveling. I don't want to stop! Not here. Not when there is so much to do and see.

This isn't just a blog about Home Schooling. It's about living a life like no other. If that means freeing ourselves from regimented curriculum and arbitrary school calendars, then rock on. Lorelei is already getting a education beyond what VPK can give her. Let's learn by doing! Let's learn by trying and exploring.

Lorelei and I. This is our life. A life like no other; one that is constantly in motion and filled with love and adventure.

Juggling Life and Learning

I keep hearing and seeing these commercials about supermoms. There's the TBO.com one where the mom sings about all the different practices and pets and demands on her time. There's the one with the air freshener that freshens while you take care of kids and meet with your friends and watch movies. There's even one where the mom freezes time to enjoy her cup of coffee while her children dump juice on her pristine carpet and her husband thoughtlessly wrecks the living room with his neanderthal friends.
I can relate to none of these!

Life for me is much more like that Family Guy commercial with Stewie pestering Lois. After a long day of being pecked to death by chickens (or what you call "work") I go home to the woodepecker extraordinaire. And I must admit there are evenings when I'd rather turn on Cat and the Hat and escape to my nice, quiet room than drill Lorelei on how to say "Hello" in four langauges. (Believe it or not she can actually differentiate 'Bonjour' as 'French' and "Hola' as 'Spanish')

For all of you moms out there wringing your hands and straining your sanity, it's okay. Being Super Woman sometimes means getting the kids fed and not drop-kicking them out of the window. Then again, there are days when they surprise you.

Last night, my little learner structured her very own home school experience...for both of us. As I was dragging my tired, pecked-out rear home, she chirpily demanded to go to the YMCA. "But, honey, wouldn't you rather go home and order a pizza and watch Tinker Bell?" "Maybe later, Mommy" Who is this child and where did she come from? So, fine, we'll go but I'm not going to like it.

Once there, she promptly took over the game of toss in the Kid Zone and I felt obligated to memorize some of my favorite poems in French while treadmilling (it's a word now!). I felt better and learned the first stanza to Kipling's If in French. Score one for the little monster.

Finally home, I go to plop my sweatiness on the couch and little Miss L directs me to her desk where she insists on doing 10 workbook pages of Color by Number, Letters, Basic Addition and all other sorts of goodies. Seriously, what four year old chooses schoolwork over TV? Mine! And of course, I feel like a heel loafing in front of House Crashers so I guess I could get caught up on my own homework...

Of course we finally get to the point where it bed time and can you believe that little monster wants to cuddle? I mean, what's with cuteness? Here I am, totally set on having a meaningless waste of a night and she goes and ruins it with exercise and learning and family time. Moral of the story (oh yes, there is one): Being a family sometimes means dragging each other kicking and screaming in the right direction. Did I teach her that or did she teach me?

Now if only I could remind her of that when I prying her out of bed in the morning...

Toodles from Bat Country

How to Live on 24 Hours a Day

Recently I finished an amazing book by Arnold Bennett (1867 - 1931) called How to Live on 24 a Day. While some may lower its status by referring to it as a mere 'self-help' book, I found it to be an astute satire on the most common of human complaints, there's never enough time.

Of course you should read it yourself, I mean it's free on Kindle for crying out loud. But I love reading bullet points or numbered lists (7 Fat Burning Foods, Do's and Don'ts of Job Hunting) so here's some clever wisdom from the 101 year old text.

• Every person in the world is equal - seriously. No one gets more time in their day than anyone else. Michelle Obama, Lindsey Lohan and I all get 24 hours. That's it! There's no bonus or penalty. 24 hours. How you spend it is your own business, but they are yours to spend. Which brings me to...
• Take your time back - all of that time spent waiting can be better spent on yourself. This doesn't mean giving yourself a manicure a stop light, although I have been known to sneak in a touch-up if time allows. It means rather than giving away your time to bad music or trite talk-show hosts, focus on accomplishing something. Even if that accomplishment is to relax yourself. Those precious moments when you are literally tied to a chair and forced to be still can be put to good use.
• Claim your time at home - find that time that seems to disappear between work and bed and do something with it. Improve yourself one way or another which takes us to...
• Classic Literature is no the only way to improve yourself - improvement comes in all forms. Sure you could take your time to learn a language or study quantum physics but if that's not what makes you a better person you've just given yourself to another obligation to dread
• Take it in stride - if this week you forget to relax or reclaim your time. Cool it! You can try again next week. Or tomorrow. Or in a few minutes. The absolute goal is one you will never achieve.

Now, these are not new theories by any means but they are said in such a way that makes you feel quite silly for ever forgetting them. Many of the concepts are the basis of Cognitive Psychology or many other forms of self-exploration.

The take away: It's your life! You're not living it for anyone else, so why are you following their rules? Live like no other.
Happy trails from Bat Country

The Support System

This has been an interesting topic as I investigate the actualities of Home Schooling Lorelei while working. A little context for you, I am graduating from USF with my BA in Psychology in exactly two months. I have worked for the same company for nearly three years (another May milestone) and my career in Project Management looks even more promising now that I have earned my Certified Associate in Project Management certificate. I've finally gotten to a place where I can support our little family of two on one income and monthly support from Lorelei's natural father. It's been a long, tenuous few years but we've come out better than ever.

All of that being said and my daughter quickly approaching school age, I have decided to take on Home Schooling. Sheer madness I tell you. My searches online have been vaguely promising. There a hundreds of working single moms and dads as well as dual income households that boast home schooled children. Unfortunately, after reading dozens of accounts they most seem to have the same few points in common

• One or both parents work from home
• Single parents work odd hours (second and third shift) or part-time positions
• The "home schooled" children attend co-op classes while the parent(s) are at work which basically turns itself into a labor-intensive private school experience

As you can probably tell, none of these are great options for me.
While I may be able to work from home in the future, it's not likely given my job responsibilities. And while it would be wonderful to go out and find the perfect position that allows me to work from home, times are tough out there and as any single parent can attest, income security trumps almost everything else.
As for the second option, I have a lot invested in my current career and it's not just vanity that makes me value this. If I'm it for Lorelei and me, I have to prioritize our well-being...and start getting creative. I'll just say it, I'm not a fan of the co-op yet because I haven't found one I liked. If I do, check for an update.
Take Charge
I refuse to give up. If Home Schooling means I can turn the educational process on its ear by taking matters into my own hands, that must mean I can do what I love best; control everything! Let's turn the clock around, learn year-round and double up studies whenever possible.
The Plan

• New lessons on nights and weekends
• Practice and homework during the days (see below)

This might not sound revolutionary but trust me, it's going to take a complete reconfiguration of our schedules to make sure to get about 20 hours of learning time into each week.
The Support

• In home day care provider (find one in Florida) - Lorelei and I were lucky enough to find an exceptional in home day care provider when we returned to Tampa Bay. She is amazingly committed to the children she watches and has jumped on board with our Home School mission. She has offered to work with Lorelei one-on-one while the younger children nap for approximately an hour a day on worksheets I provide. Lorelei is thrilled to do her "homework" and our inaugural week proved a smashing success. Bottom line: Lorelei is away from the school setting (as planned) while still learning and I keep my full-time hours at work.
• Grandma - one day a week Lorelei gets to spend the day with Grandma. My mother has been 100% supportive of my decision to Home School and has agreed to work with Lorelei during the day (a little longer than the day care provider) on worksheets and computer programs.
• Online resources - I mentioned them on the Home School page and I'll keep updating as I can. Specifically, Nick Jr. Boost (a paid site within nickjr.com) has proven itself to be one of the best learning sites. While I don't rely on it solely for curriculum, it's an excellent way to keep Lorelei learning while I'm making dinner or doing laundry. The laptop goes wherever I am so we are always together; so I can monitor her activity and give the appropriate encouragement or troubleshooting.
• The State of Floria - No joke. Our tax dollars pay for research, development and implamentation of countless resources and most if not all are posted in the internet, just sitting there...waiting...seriously. Get Googling!
• The Library - I can't believe I have to say this one but it's amazing how many out there forget what an amazing resource this can be. Through the online databases and requesting site, I can search and request thousands of book, video, Wii and computer titles. They're delivered to my home library in a reasonable amount of time. We can experiment with what works and what doesn't with zero out of pocket (save the occasional late fee).
• Been-there-done-that Parents - The first rule of parenting? Everyone else knows more than you do. It's just a fact. A parent with one kid knows more than someone who is expecting their first. A parent with three older kids can lecture a parent of one toddler and the toddler mom should just shut up and listen. You may not always agree, and you may walk away with a list of things you'll never do but it's a free fount of knowledge and the proof is sitting right in front of you. Before investing one cent in anything else, start talking. Even if they've never Home Schooled, even if they think you are crazy for doing it, keep talking!

There are so many more places and people available to assist and for State and Non-Profit resources I'll need a whole other Blog post but we can leave it at this. After some hand-wringing and serious doubt, I think I've figured out how to have it all. Mind you, I won't have a social life for the next however many years, but on the great priority list of life, it just didn't rank.

Good luck from Bat Country

About the 100 Thing Challenge | A Guy Named Dave

Just because I have my own blog doesn't mean I've stopped reading others. Here's a fun experiment to find out what really matters. Even if you don't actually limit yourself to 100 things. Could you identify the 100 things you can't live without. We are not talking about being on a desert island and you have to eat and such. This is more if you moved to a 500 sq. ft. apartment and had no storage, what would you need day-to-day.

Once you get to that point, could you be happy living a minimalist lifestyle? Don't ask me, I've never tried, and as long as there is a TJ Maxx near me, I may never succeed, but it's an interesting concept and one I'm going to give a whirl. What the hey, we'll call it my Lenten goal.
About the 100 Thing Challenge A Guy Named Dave