Private School Problems (part 1 of a 3 parter)

Hello my fellow crazies. My sympathetic moms and dads who barely remember the blur that was January.  Where have I been? Don't ask me, in my mind it's still November. But the calendar tells me different and my bank account shows the scars of a holiday season and fifth birthday party and thus I must admit that time is indeed passing. And what, pray tell, have we been up to?

Lorelei is adjusting quite well to the school environment. She's making friends and going to birthday parties and every few months or so I get to attend a PTA meeting where I am shamelessly guilted into giving even more money to the school for various improvements and fundraisers. They take off every conceivable holiday which means I am constantly looking for childcare options. Lorelei comes home reciting dogma that she cannot explain and I'm still having to explain to people the arbitrary laws that prohibit my well-read daughter from skipping this Letter-of-the-Week routine and skipping to Kindergarten or even 1st grade. Long story short- this is pretty much what I expected. However it's not all negative. In fact, let's take a look at the balance:

You can see the frustration. I'm sticking with the decision that Christ the King was the best choice given the circumstances, but I'm not too sure how sustainable it is for us in the long term. We have a few more months before summer vacation hits and that is putting the decisions into an even harsher perspective given that I've blown my whole childcare budget and still have two unaccounted for months to...well...account for!

The questions are endless and the issues mounting and time is running out.

Non Illegitimi Carborundum,

Bat Country

I never give up; I just change my mind

Adapting the Goal

The past few months have been a whirlwind of change. Changing jobs, changing homes, changing Lorelei’s school- wait did she just say? Yes, I did. School. But, wasn’t the whole point to keep Lorelei out of the masochistic institution that grinds out semi-literate neophytes and engage in a bohemian, offbeat lifestyle that will breed an amazing, objectivist freethinker? Why, yes, so kind of you to remember! So what’s the deal?

Work Happened

The year began with me happily situated in a Production Coordinator position at a national TV network. While the work was good and the people were fabulous, I outgrew the job and searched the big, wide world over for a new opportunity. I had interviews in New York, Philadelphia and Pinellas Park (now there’s a spread) and finally settled in as a Project Manager for a marketing solutions company working with a humongous financial institution. Now, when I say, “settled”, I mean “slumped”. Full on, weight-gaining misery that sucked my soul dry on a daily basis. After 88 whole days I found myself a brand=spanking-new job as Program Manager at a boutique marketing agency based in Ybor City. Please note the double promotion in the span of 4 months; pretty awesome if I do say so myself. Goodbye corporate soul-suckers, hello 90-minute commute and awesome work environment.

With the additional miles and hours required in my new gig and my Tarpon Springs home base, I could no longer keep Lorelei at her amazing babysitter’s. Two months of hand wringing and option-trying I:

• Interviewed nine nannies
• Tried to negotiate flexible work hours
• Worked through lunch
• Rushed through traffic
• Emailed from the car
• Pieced together a four-person child care team
• Desperately tried to homeschool in the hour between getting home, dinner time, bath time, bed time and back on the road again before the sun had risen
• Induced separation anxiety in Lorelei so she would no longer sleep in her own bed and develop tummy trouble
• Stopped even trying to keep a clean house or cook homemade meals

If you think life was unbearable, you’re right. Something had to give. The job? The sitter? The home? My sanity?

But I Hate Schools!

I visited several schools close to my work. My generous mother visited every Montessori school in the Tampa Bay Area. And while so many of them had positive points, there was always some detraction that I couldn’t overcome. The hours, the reputation, the staff. Something was always just a little off. Let’s not even talk about trying to fund this little venture. On a whim I put Lorelei on the waiting list at Christ the King School. Alumni of this school include, my sister, my aunt, my cousins, my mother and myself. Talk about a recommendation! Within days of my throwing in the towel the secretary, the same secretary that used to take my temperature when I was in Kindergarten called to say CKS had an opening. Finally! A school I can trust! For crying out loud, my 1^st, 4^th, 6^th and 8^th grade teachers were still there. People who knew me and watched my sister and I grow up were still there. They remembered us; the school hadn’t changed. Best of all, they are 15 minutes from work!

How is it different than that nightmare scenario I was trying to avoid?

I can be a part of Lorelei’s day

• Guest Reader
• Volunteer
• Constant communication with the teaching staff
• Family events nearly every other weekend
• The opportunity to stop in whenever I want

Private Schools make their own rules

• Input in curriculum
• Standards set by the parents
• A firm expectation that parents stay involved

Providing a foundation

• I am not religious but I’m glad Lorelei is getting that foundation that I am familiar with. It gives us a jumping off point to tackle questions of faith and theology
• I encourage individuality at every turn but I’m not very good about encouraging cooperation with the outside world. CKS encourages more cooperative interactions and while the groupthink is a little much for me, again, a balance.

So what? You’re just giving up?

Absolutely not! Bat Country is in full swing. We learn French in the car through audiobooks (j’taime bebe), read novels instead of slumping in front of the TV, work through our homeschool books and complete CKS homework with our own personal twist. We’re moving to Tampa to be closer to work and school and cutting expenses to move our learning experience from the living room to great big world. We’re minimizing the superfluous and focusing on the substantial. You thought we were going to stay on the same straight and narrow? Have you met us?

Remember kids…we can’t stop here, this is Bat Country.

Mini-me

I forget what little mirrors these critters can be. Until I hear a sarcastic tone I didn't realize was in my voice echoed from my little monster. Or when Lorelei brings me a cool cloth for my head because she knows I'm not feeling well. Or when she sits at her desk studiously writing in her workbooks because she saw my working on countless spreadsheets. Of course I try not to cuss around her and I save the keggers for when she's sleeping over somewhere else (joking Nana), but I've come to realize that my good and bad habits are reflected through her in almost real time.

Routines are Flexible
Not too long ago we would come home and each plop in front of a TV; she watching cartoons and I HGTV. We ate somewhere in there and made our way to bed eventually. However, a couple of weeks ago, we came home and I forgot to turn the TV on. We had to walk the dog and get something out of the car and it just never came up. While taking trips outside, Lorelei made a dinner request, so we cooked together. When that was over it was bath time then bedtime and lo and behold we had completely missed Dora, Glee, Backyardigans, everything! And the Earth continued to turn. I didn't want to make a big thing of it so the next day I "forgot" to turn on the TV and plop and sure enough, we walked to the local beach and Lorelei splashed in the waves while I read my Kindle. A few more days of "forgetfullness" and we've completely changed our routine. We're eating better because I can focus on the task of preparing dinner while she takes care of the puppy and settles in (comfy clothes and all). The house is cleaner because I can do productive chores rather than my TV chores (I mean honestly, how many House Hunters must I watch?) Turns out, those ruts aren't so hard to break.

Gradulation (typo intentional)
I graduated from University of South Florida last Thursday with a BA in Psychology. I began courses in the Fall of 2003 and now, May of 2011 I finally made it to the cap and gown, traipse across the stage bit. I sat amidst kids who still thought it the ultimate rebellion to show up to graduation drunk or high. I posed for pictures with the college president whom I'd never met before but congratulated me as if she had been at my first grade pageant. And afterwards, my family and friends gathered to celebrate. The whole process was a bit surreal. As I walked across the stage, I looked up and could see Lorelei waving from a balcony. Truth be told, I spent most of the ceremony reading on my Kindle while the other 1,400 graduates each got their hands shaken. But when I saw her jumping up and down and waving, I lost it. My little girl. My baby who has her own duster so she can "clean like Mommy" and her own pots and pans so she can "cook like Mommy" and even had me cut her hair "short like Mommy" just saw Mommy graduate. Over the past 4 years Lorelei has watched Mommy do homework, study, take exams and go to classes. Now she wants to "gradulate just like Mommy".

Because I can...

Hello world. Not that any one's reading this yet but you will. I suppose I'll start with introductions.


My name is Amanda and I have no idea how I got here. Scratch that, I have a very good idea as to how I got here but I can't remember sitting down and plotting out my course to end up here. In fact, I don't remember plotting any course. Yesterday I was ditching Spanish II to walk down to McD's and today I'm writing curriculum notes to home school my daughter.

That about sums it up I suppose. But for those of you who like a little more information. I am a single (okay divorced but I hate saying it) mom of an amazing little girl who some days I want to drop kick. I work too hard for a national TV network (don't want to say who because I'm not really sure about legality and such).


Why am I blogging? Because after weeks of searching I have yet to find a truly helpful resource in single-parenting, fully-employed home schooling. Then there's the strange yet hard-won lessons of living 40 years in the span of 25 (I get a lot done in a day). That and I love to write but don't have the attention span (or time) for the Great American Novel.

So the hope is to a get a little something started. Some insights from the front line on what it's like to raise, support and teach a child while investing in your body, mind, soul and career.

If I haven't scared you away yet, welcome to the Great American Experiment. The new generation of movers and shakers.

Welcome to Bat Country