Minimalism: Step One

Inspired by blogs such as zen habits, Exile Lifestyle, The Minimalists, Marc and Angel Hack Life, and of course the desire to look at an immaculate house, I've decided to see how much I can "minimize" and truly embrace the minimal lifestyle. I mean, let's face it, if Lorelei and I are ever to become the truly counter-culture world travelers, we're not going to be able to drag along the large amount of crap- I mean belongings currently filling our 1,400 sq. ft. apartment. I knew it would be challenging, but I've been working on this list (some people have gotten their possessions down to less than 100 things) for a few days now and I've reached 400 and that's only off of the top of my head. Forget the things in drawers, in boxes and shelves I'm too short to see without a boost. I wasn't hoping to get down to 100 or even 200 but seriously, I cannot complain about money...ever! I keep a relatively clean apartment (some have called it sterile, but the OCD in me knows this to be a fallacy). Lorelei and I tidy up when needed and the dog knows better than to make more work for me so all in all, I've got it under control. So how did I end up with so much stuff?

Donations

Three years ago I became a divorcee. Neither my happiest time nor my most financially secure. With Grim determination, I found a job and a furnished apartment and packed up a sedan-worth of stuff to start my new life with my then one year old bundle of giggles. Towards the end of the lease and as Florida's snow bird season was kicking into high gear, I needed to find a new place and fast and the furnished places sky-rocketed in rent. I was in no position to turn up my nose at charity:

·         Church friends: kitchen setup and dining room table

·         Work colleagues: couch

·         Friends: queen size bed (shared with my daughter for the first several months)

·         Family: various tables, my TV from my first apartment out of high school that somehow made it back to my mother’s and a toddler bed from my sister

·         Myself: clothes and a few photos and albums

Making Something Out of Very Little

That was it: my little palace for me and the princess. Back then I didn’t call it minimalism; I called it poverty. But slowly I worked and saved and spent. Tax refunds, child support, over time; it all went to making our apartment a home. TJ Maxx, NY & Co., Target; I could afford to get another TV with my HSN discount. Lorelei got books and toys and I got sheets that weren’t hand-me-downs (I just tried not to think about it really). Present day – quite a comfortable little setup if I do say so myself. I still have some of the donations, some of which I donated myself to other people in need. My sister came through with a bigger bed for Lorelei when she outgrew the toddler bed and now we only sleep together when she wants to cuddle. I’ve managed to acquire more then I’ve dumped. And this bothers me.

I never want Lorelei to go without, but all of this stuff- we don’t need it. What we need is the cash that went into acquiring it. What we need is the peace of mind of knowing where everything is and that we are not living in a wasteful manner but a sustainable (not quite hemp crazy but) healthy way. Seriously! What do you say to a little girl who looks around a store and says, “Mommy, let’s get more stuff!” From the mouths of babes, right?

Step One: No More Stuff!

I love to shop. Especially for “useful” stuff like school supplies, kitchen gadgets and storage boxes. Anything promising organization – I want 10! But no more. Family and friends out there, “No more stuff please!” Unless it is going to replace something I already have that doesn’t work anymore, take that money and donate it in my name. Lorelei? Well, she’s a kid; and a darn cute one if I must say so I won’t deprive ya’ll of getting her fun stuff, just have mercy on the one who has to pick up after her.

Step Two: Purge, Baby, Purge!

I will not bore you nor embarrass myself by publishing my ever-growing list of stuff. I will however let you know of things I have deemed superfluous. Like sundresses I would never leave the house in or shoes with the heel worn off. Or five down comforters (not making that one up). Never fear, it will all go to a good place. No trash dumps. And the goal is not to replace it with more stuff. I may never get to 100 things or even 200 but let’s start investing and stop spending.

A few places to unload your stuff for a good cause

• Freecycle - a network of local groups that post anything and everything from coupons to couches; all you have to do is call the poster (a normal yocal just like yourself) and come pick it up. The only requirement: it has to be free
• National Furniture Bank - unwanted furniture for those in need
• Salvation Army - heard of 'em?
• Pick Up Please - they'll come to your house and take your unwanted clothes
• any local church or charity - you don't want me to do all of the work for you, do you? Get Googling!

Or sell it

• Craigslist - just be careful, k?
• Amazon - be good kids. No one wants dud stuff
• E-Bay - a given, I know, but here's a nifty link
• Garage/rummage/yard/estate sales - everything for $1!

Happy Hunting from Bat Country

If by Rudyard Kipling

If I can live my life with these words in mind and teach my daughter to do the same, I'll know I've succeeded. For a truly wonderful interpretation click through.

Rudyard Kipling
If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Mini-me

I forget what little mirrors these critters can be. Until I hear a sarcastic tone I didn't realize was in my voice echoed from my little monster. Or when Lorelei brings me a cool cloth for my head because she knows I'm not feeling well. Or when she sits at her desk studiously writing in her workbooks because she saw my working on countless spreadsheets. Of course I try not to cuss around her and I save the keggers for when she's sleeping over somewhere else (joking Nana), but I've come to realize that my good and bad habits are reflected through her in almost real time.

Routines are Flexible
Not too long ago we would come home and each plop in front of a TV; she watching cartoons and I HGTV. We ate somewhere in there and made our way to bed eventually. However, a couple of weeks ago, we came home and I forgot to turn the TV on. We had to walk the dog and get something out of the car and it just never came up. While taking trips outside, Lorelei made a dinner request, so we cooked together. When that was over it was bath time then bedtime and lo and behold we had completely missed Dora, Glee, Backyardigans, everything! And the Earth continued to turn. I didn't want to make a big thing of it so the next day I "forgot" to turn on the TV and plop and sure enough, we walked to the local beach and Lorelei splashed in the waves while I read my Kindle. A few more days of "forgetfullness" and we've completely changed our routine. We're eating better because I can focus on the task of preparing dinner while she takes care of the puppy and settles in (comfy clothes and all). The house is cleaner because I can do productive chores rather than my TV chores (I mean honestly, how many House Hunters must I watch?) Turns out, those ruts aren't so hard to break.

Gradulation (typo intentional)
I graduated from University of South Florida last Thursday with a BA in Psychology. I began courses in the Fall of 2003 and now, May of 2011 I finally made it to the cap and gown, traipse across the stage bit. I sat amidst kids who still thought it the ultimate rebellion to show up to graduation drunk or high. I posed for pictures with the college president whom I'd never met before but congratulated me as if she had been at my first grade pageant. And afterwards, my family and friends gathered to celebrate. The whole process was a bit surreal. As I walked across the stage, I looked up and could see Lorelei waving from a balcony. Truth be told, I spent most of the ceremony reading on my Kindle while the other 1,400 graduates each got their hands shaken. But when I saw her jumping up and down and waving, I lost it. My little girl. My baby who has her own duster so she can "clean like Mommy" and her own pots and pans so she can "cook like Mommy" and even had me cut her hair "short like Mommy" just saw Mommy graduate. Over the past 4 years Lorelei has watched Mommy do homework, study, take exams and go to classes. Now she wants to "gradulate just like Mommy".

Why "Bat Country"?

After several inquisitive and not so indirect comments about the title of my blog, I feel obliged to let ya'll in on a little secret. What is Bat Country and why would I name a blog about Home Schooling it?

We can't stop here...

Hunter S. Thompson. Granted not the role model most mothers have and I'm certainly not having Lorelei learn grammar from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, but there is a point to the quote I've chosen for this crazy mixed-up lifestyle. "We can't stop here, this is bat country". As Dr. Gonzo and Raul Duke are careening towards Las Vegas in Thompson's story-turned-Johnny Depp-movie, they are loaded up on so many mind-altering substances and drugs most of us have never before heard of, Duke starts to hallucinate. Hundreds of flying bats fill the sky while his "lawyer" tans himself in the passenger seat of their convertible. It's madness. It's hilarious, truer than most of us like to admit madness.

...this is bat country!

We all have our stories. Let's face it, we're all the star of our own movies. So I'm not going to claim that I've had a better or worse life than anyone else. I can say, though, that for me, it's been quite a ride and I'm just beginning. At this pace, God help me at 50. Life, parenthood, career, school, family, friends, love - very little of it is simple, none of it is easy and the best plan is to keep going. Keep moving, keep growing and improving and learning and failing and succeeding and traveling. I don't want to stop! Not here. Not when there is so much to do and see.

This isn't just a blog about Home Schooling. It's about living a life like no other. If that means freeing ourselves from regimented curriculum and arbitrary school calendars, then rock on. Lorelei is already getting a education beyond what VPK can give her. Let's learn by doing! Let's learn by trying and exploring.

Lorelei and I. This is our life. A life like no other; one that is constantly in motion and filled with love and adventure.

Juggling Life and Learning

I keep hearing and seeing these commercials about supermoms. There's the TBO.com one where the mom sings about all the different practices and pets and demands on her time. There's the one with the air freshener that freshens while you take care of kids and meet with your friends and watch movies. There's even one where the mom freezes time to enjoy her cup of coffee while her children dump juice on her pristine carpet and her husband thoughtlessly wrecks the living room with his neanderthal friends.
I can relate to none of these!

Life for me is much more like that Family Guy commercial with Stewie pestering Lois. After a long day of being pecked to death by chickens (or what you call "work") I go home to the woodepecker extraordinaire. And I must admit there are evenings when I'd rather turn on Cat and the Hat and escape to my nice, quiet room than drill Lorelei on how to say "Hello" in four langauges. (Believe it or not she can actually differentiate 'Bonjour' as 'French' and "Hola' as 'Spanish')

For all of you moms out there wringing your hands and straining your sanity, it's okay. Being Super Woman sometimes means getting the kids fed and not drop-kicking them out of the window. Then again, there are days when they surprise you.

Last night, my little learner structured her very own home school experience...for both of us. As I was dragging my tired, pecked-out rear home, she chirpily demanded to go to the YMCA. "But, honey, wouldn't you rather go home and order a pizza and watch Tinker Bell?" "Maybe later, Mommy" Who is this child and where did she come from? So, fine, we'll go but I'm not going to like it.

Once there, she promptly took over the game of toss in the Kid Zone and I felt obligated to memorize some of my favorite poems in French while treadmilling (it's a word now!). I felt better and learned the first stanza to Kipling's If in French. Score one for the little monster.

Finally home, I go to plop my sweatiness on the couch and little Miss L directs me to her desk where she insists on doing 10 workbook pages of Color by Number, Letters, Basic Addition and all other sorts of goodies. Seriously, what four year old chooses schoolwork over TV? Mine! And of course, I feel like a heel loafing in front of House Crashers so I guess I could get caught up on my own homework...

Of course we finally get to the point where it bed time and can you believe that little monster wants to cuddle? I mean, what's with cuteness? Here I am, totally set on having a meaningless waste of a night and she goes and ruins it with exercise and learning and family time. Moral of the story (oh yes, there is one): Being a family sometimes means dragging each other kicking and screaming in the right direction. Did I teach her that or did she teach me?

Now if only I could remind her of that when I prying her out of bed in the morning...

Toodles from Bat Country

Start Here

Staring down the barrel of your child's education is a daunting task to say the least. I keep searching for the step by step guide that says, "Buy this" "Say that" *poof* you have a college grad. It doesn't work like that. Seriously what does? Much like anything else, it's all theory until you jump in an try it. So for my sake and those who need to hear it; this is the first step. The harmless way of getting your feet wet without committing yourself one we or another.

Curriculum
I'm not a huge fan of it. I think with a little creativity you can exhaust any subject without investing in cumbersome textbooks (I'm being green about it, yeah, that's it). But that being said, I'm not against workbooks and things you can find with just a modicum of digging (or in most cases Googling).

Identify a Subject
I'm not insulting your intelligence here, I'm honestly saying, 'Pick a topic any topic'

• Language - a natural starting point and I think the easiest place to begin
• Math - another obvious one, but explaining it is a lot harder than I thought
• Science - content really depends on age, but look around nature and ask "why" or "how" and you've got the basis for science lesson...and of course there's the zoo!
• Social Studies - the ultimate dumping ground of everything sociological. I recommend starting with Geography (your address, street, etc.) plus the Animaniacs have some awesome songs to learn the States and Capitals and Presidents (through Clinton)
• Health - again, the age dictates the lessons, but nutrition, fitness and anatomy can be wrapped up in this
• Philosophy - I want Lorelei to learn about the great philosophers and faiths not just her own so I'm holding off on this one until her frame of reference is a little broader

Teachers Shop at the Same Stores you Do

Long before I ever considered this Home Schooling thing, I went down to the Office Depot (a favorite haunt) and nosed around the teachers' supplies. Something about all of those flash cards and Cat in the Hat job chart and all of those gold stars just gets me giddy. I picked out two workbooks (Preschool and Kindergarten) and a new crayon box and in four months we did about six pages. Not that Lorelei wasn't interested, they just ended up in the drawer is all. But I love a good coloring book, so they made re-appearance every once in a while and went back to the drawer when they got too...wait for it...schooly.

Once I wrapped my head around Eclectic Home Schooling, I realized how many materials I already had in desk drawers, on book shelves and already loaded on the computer. We actually haven't purchased any new books yet!

My Foray into Online Education
Imagine dipping your picky toe into the Pacific. That's what we did when I entertained the idea of online education. We did buy the Nick Jr. Boost program online which I think has been a pretty good investment so far. It grows with her and the characters are familiar. I'm a little under-impressed with the creativity of it. Mainly, it's the same games as the free site but it tracks progress and rewards successes. All in all, I think I'll stick to renting CD programs from the library. At least I can do a little more research on the developers and software instead of trusting the glowing "testimonials" featured on the web pages.

They're Watching You
Of course, let's not forget all that big brother has to offer. 

• USDA website offers free learning resources (print and online) for health and conservation lesson.
• Kids.gov has resources for every subject (although I found the only useful ones to be American Studies, go figure) and breaks it up by grade section (K-5, and so on).
• Federal Resources for Education Excellence (try saying that with a straight face) offers the same sorts of resources but doesn't differentiate by grade.
• USA.gov focuses on Government but it couldn't hurt I suppose.

Our tax dollars pay for this stuff so before you go and raid Staples or Amazon or the insanely expensive "private" home schools, take a look at what you have already purchased!

Try a little at a time at first to see what suits you and your family. It's all out there and home school or no you might as well take advantage of it.

Happy Sunday from Bat Country

Making everything a learning experience

One of the first fears I had about embarking on the Home Schooling of my poor unsuspecting little girl was that I was going to somehow warp her mind and stunt her growth by not teaching her whatever it is they teach in school. After reading countless blogs and books and articles and well-meaning posts I'm a little more comfortable with the "world as a classroom".


Turns out, everything we as adults take for granted is brand-spanking new to the little monster. All of a sudden, every little errand becomes a field trip and every mundane chore a lesson. Now I'm not saying every day is a picnic or I've turned into a Duggar, I'm just saying I think I'm really going to like spending time with my daughter that doesn't revolve around taking turns on who gets to pick the TV show.


A comparison of Kindergarten Math (30 minutes)


In school: Lorelei would be given a worksheet of triangles and squares, something akin to "square, square, triangle, square, square, ______" what comes next? Lorelei walks away with a gold star and secure in the knowledge that she can keep up with the rest of the class.


At home: While making lasagna, we discuss what our favorite ingredients are, Lorelei mixes learns the names of and mixes three different kinds of cheese, pick our fresh herbs from the garden, and determine a pattern of Noodles, Cheese, Vegetables, Sauce. While the lasagna cooks, we go on a little nature walk, learn about mushroom, read street signs, identify and pick flowers and discuss her day at the baby sitter's. At the table we decide squash is better the zucchini because yellow is prettier than green but both are good because they are healthy vegetables.


Home: 1 - School: 0


Farewell from Bat Country

Because I can...

Hello world. Not that any one's reading this yet but you will. I suppose I'll start with introductions.


My name is Amanda and I have no idea how I got here. Scratch that, I have a very good idea as to how I got here but I can't remember sitting down and plotting out my course to end up here. In fact, I don't remember plotting any course. Yesterday I was ditching Spanish II to walk down to McD's and today I'm writing curriculum notes to home school my daughter.

That about sums it up I suppose. But for those of you who like a little more information. I am a single (okay divorced but I hate saying it) mom of an amazing little girl who some days I want to drop kick. I work too hard for a national TV network (don't want to say who because I'm not really sure about legality and such).


Why am I blogging? Because after weeks of searching I have yet to find a truly helpful resource in single-parenting, fully-employed home schooling. Then there's the strange yet hard-won lessons of living 40 years in the span of 25 (I get a lot done in a day). That and I love to write but don't have the attention span (or time) for the Great American Novel.

So the hope is to a get a little something started. Some insights from the front line on what it's like to raise, support and teach a child while investing in your body, mind, soul and career.

If I haven't scared you away yet, welcome to the Great American Experiment. The new generation of movers and shakers.

Welcome to Bat Country