I never give up; I just change my mind

Adapting the Goal

The past few months have been a whirlwind of change. Changing jobs, changing homes, changing Lorelei’s school- wait did she just say? Yes, I did. School. But, wasn’t the whole point to keep Lorelei out of the masochistic institution that grinds out semi-literate neophytes and engage in a bohemian, offbeat lifestyle that will breed an amazing, objectivist freethinker? Why, yes, so kind of you to remember! So what’s the deal?

Work Happened

The year began with me happily situated in a Production Coordinator position at a national TV network. While the work was good and the people were fabulous, I outgrew the job and searched the big, wide world over for a new opportunity. I had interviews in New York, Philadelphia and Pinellas Park (now there’s a spread) and finally settled in as a Project Manager for a marketing solutions company working with a humongous financial institution. Now, when I say, “settled”, I mean “slumped”. Full on, weight-gaining misery that sucked my soul dry on a daily basis. After 88 whole days I found myself a brand=spanking-new job as Program Manager at a boutique marketing agency based in Ybor City. Please note the double promotion in the span of 4 months; pretty awesome if I do say so myself. Goodbye corporate soul-suckers, hello 90-minute commute and awesome work environment.

With the additional miles and hours required in my new gig and my Tarpon Springs home base, I could no longer keep Lorelei at her amazing babysitter’s. Two months of hand wringing and option-trying I:

• Interviewed nine nannies
• Tried to negotiate flexible work hours
• Worked through lunch
• Rushed through traffic
• Emailed from the car
• Pieced together a four-person child care team
• Desperately tried to homeschool in the hour between getting home, dinner time, bath time, bed time and back on the road again before the sun had risen
• Induced separation anxiety in Lorelei so she would no longer sleep in her own bed and develop tummy trouble
• Stopped even trying to keep a clean house or cook homemade meals

If you think life was unbearable, you’re right. Something had to give. The job? The sitter? The home? My sanity?

But I Hate Schools!

I visited several schools close to my work. My generous mother visited every Montessori school in the Tampa Bay Area. And while so many of them had positive points, there was always some detraction that I couldn’t overcome. The hours, the reputation, the staff. Something was always just a little off. Let’s not even talk about trying to fund this little venture. On a whim I put Lorelei on the waiting list at Christ the King School. Alumni of this school include, my sister, my aunt, my cousins, my mother and myself. Talk about a recommendation! Within days of my throwing in the towel the secretary, the same secretary that used to take my temperature when I was in Kindergarten called to say CKS had an opening. Finally! A school I can trust! For crying out loud, my 1^st, 4^th, 6^th and 8^th grade teachers were still there. People who knew me and watched my sister and I grow up were still there. They remembered us; the school hadn’t changed. Best of all, they are 15 minutes from work!

How is it different than that nightmare scenario I was trying to avoid?

I can be a part of Lorelei’s day

• Guest Reader
• Volunteer
• Constant communication with the teaching staff
• Family events nearly every other weekend
• The opportunity to stop in whenever I want

Private Schools make their own rules

• Input in curriculum
• Standards set by the parents
• A firm expectation that parents stay involved

Providing a foundation

• I am not religious but I’m glad Lorelei is getting that foundation that I am familiar with. It gives us a jumping off point to tackle questions of faith and theology
• I encourage individuality at every turn but I’m not very good about encouraging cooperation with the outside world. CKS encourages more cooperative interactions and while the groupthink is a little much for me, again, a balance.

So what? You’re just giving up?

Absolutely not! Bat Country is in full swing. We learn French in the car through audiobooks (j’taime bebe), read novels instead of slumping in front of the TV, work through our homeschool books and complete CKS homework with our own personal twist. We’re moving to Tampa to be closer to work and school and cutting expenses to move our learning experience from the living room to great big world. We’re minimizing the superfluous and focusing on the substantial. You thought we were going to stay on the same straight and narrow? Have you met us?

Remember kids…we can’t stop here, this is Bat Country.

Minimalism: Step One

Inspired by blogs such as zen habits, Exile Lifestyle, The Minimalists, Marc and Angel Hack Life, and of course the desire to look at an immaculate house, I've decided to see how much I can "minimize" and truly embrace the minimal lifestyle. I mean, let's face it, if Lorelei and I are ever to become the truly counter-culture world travelers, we're not going to be able to drag along the large amount of crap- I mean belongings currently filling our 1,400 sq. ft. apartment. I knew it would be challenging, but I've been working on this list (some people have gotten their possessions down to less than 100 things) for a few days now and I've reached 400 and that's only off of the top of my head. Forget the things in drawers, in boxes and shelves I'm too short to see without a boost. I wasn't hoping to get down to 100 or even 200 but seriously, I cannot complain about money...ever! I keep a relatively clean apartment (some have called it sterile, but the OCD in me knows this to be a fallacy). Lorelei and I tidy up when needed and the dog knows better than to make more work for me so all in all, I've got it under control. So how did I end up with so much stuff?

Donations

Three years ago I became a divorcee. Neither my happiest time nor my most financially secure. With Grim determination, I found a job and a furnished apartment and packed up a sedan-worth of stuff to start my new life with my then one year old bundle of giggles. Towards the end of the lease and as Florida's snow bird season was kicking into high gear, I needed to find a new place and fast and the furnished places sky-rocketed in rent. I was in no position to turn up my nose at charity:

·         Church friends: kitchen setup and dining room table

·         Work colleagues: couch

·         Friends: queen size bed (shared with my daughter for the first several months)

·         Family: various tables, my TV from my first apartment out of high school that somehow made it back to my mother’s and a toddler bed from my sister

·         Myself: clothes and a few photos and albums

Making Something Out of Very Little

That was it: my little palace for me and the princess. Back then I didn’t call it minimalism; I called it poverty. But slowly I worked and saved and spent. Tax refunds, child support, over time; it all went to making our apartment a home. TJ Maxx, NY & Co., Target; I could afford to get another TV with my HSN discount. Lorelei got books and toys and I got sheets that weren’t hand-me-downs (I just tried not to think about it really). Present day – quite a comfortable little setup if I do say so myself. I still have some of the donations, some of which I donated myself to other people in need. My sister came through with a bigger bed for Lorelei when she outgrew the toddler bed and now we only sleep together when she wants to cuddle. I’ve managed to acquire more then I’ve dumped. And this bothers me.

I never want Lorelei to go without, but all of this stuff- we don’t need it. What we need is the cash that went into acquiring it. What we need is the peace of mind of knowing where everything is and that we are not living in a wasteful manner but a sustainable (not quite hemp crazy but) healthy way. Seriously! What do you say to a little girl who looks around a store and says, “Mommy, let’s get more stuff!” From the mouths of babes, right?

Step One: No More Stuff!

I love to shop. Especially for “useful” stuff like school supplies, kitchen gadgets and storage boxes. Anything promising organization – I want 10! But no more. Family and friends out there, “No more stuff please!” Unless it is going to replace something I already have that doesn’t work anymore, take that money and donate it in my name. Lorelei? Well, she’s a kid; and a darn cute one if I must say so I won’t deprive ya’ll of getting her fun stuff, just have mercy on the one who has to pick up after her.

Step Two: Purge, Baby, Purge!

I will not bore you nor embarrass myself by publishing my ever-growing list of stuff. I will however let you know of things I have deemed superfluous. Like sundresses I would never leave the house in or shoes with the heel worn off. Or five down comforters (not making that one up). Never fear, it will all go to a good place. No trash dumps. And the goal is not to replace it with more stuff. I may never get to 100 things or even 200 but let’s start investing and stop spending.

A few places to unload your stuff for a good cause

• Freecycle - a network of local groups that post anything and everything from coupons to couches; all you have to do is call the poster (a normal yocal just like yourself) and come pick it up. The only requirement: it has to be free
• National Furniture Bank - unwanted furniture for those in need
• Salvation Army - heard of 'em?
• Pick Up Please - they'll come to your house and take your unwanted clothes
• any local church or charity - you don't want me to do all of the work for you, do you? Get Googling!

Or sell it

• Craigslist - just be careful, k?
• Amazon - be good kids. No one wants dud stuff
• E-Bay - a given, I know, but here's a nifty link
• Garage/rummage/yard/estate sales - everything for $1!

Happy Hunting from Bat Country

Mini-me

I forget what little mirrors these critters can be. Until I hear a sarcastic tone I didn't realize was in my voice echoed from my little monster. Or when Lorelei brings me a cool cloth for my head because she knows I'm not feeling well. Or when she sits at her desk studiously writing in her workbooks because she saw my working on countless spreadsheets. Of course I try not to cuss around her and I save the keggers for when she's sleeping over somewhere else (joking Nana), but I've come to realize that my good and bad habits are reflected through her in almost real time.

Routines are Flexible
Not too long ago we would come home and each plop in front of a TV; she watching cartoons and I HGTV. We ate somewhere in there and made our way to bed eventually. However, a couple of weeks ago, we came home and I forgot to turn the TV on. We had to walk the dog and get something out of the car and it just never came up. While taking trips outside, Lorelei made a dinner request, so we cooked together. When that was over it was bath time then bedtime and lo and behold we had completely missed Dora, Glee, Backyardigans, everything! And the Earth continued to turn. I didn't want to make a big thing of it so the next day I "forgot" to turn on the TV and plop and sure enough, we walked to the local beach and Lorelei splashed in the waves while I read my Kindle. A few more days of "forgetfullness" and we've completely changed our routine. We're eating better because I can focus on the task of preparing dinner while she takes care of the puppy and settles in (comfy clothes and all). The house is cleaner because I can do productive chores rather than my TV chores (I mean honestly, how many House Hunters must I watch?) Turns out, those ruts aren't so hard to break.

Gradulation (typo intentional)
I graduated from University of South Florida last Thursday with a BA in Psychology. I began courses in the Fall of 2003 and now, May of 2011 I finally made it to the cap and gown, traipse across the stage bit. I sat amidst kids who still thought it the ultimate rebellion to show up to graduation drunk or high. I posed for pictures with the college president whom I'd never met before but congratulated me as if she had been at my first grade pageant. And afterwards, my family and friends gathered to celebrate. The whole process was a bit surreal. As I walked across the stage, I looked up and could see Lorelei waving from a balcony. Truth be told, I spent most of the ceremony reading on my Kindle while the other 1,400 graduates each got their hands shaken. But when I saw her jumping up and down and waving, I lost it. My little girl. My baby who has her own duster so she can "clean like Mommy" and her own pots and pans so she can "cook like Mommy" and even had me cut her hair "short like Mommy" just saw Mommy graduate. Over the past 4 years Lorelei has watched Mommy do homework, study, take exams and go to classes. Now she wants to "gradulate just like Mommy".

Why "Bat Country"?

After several inquisitive and not so indirect comments about the title of my blog, I feel obliged to let ya'll in on a little secret. What is Bat Country and why would I name a blog about Home Schooling it?

We can't stop here...

Hunter S. Thompson. Granted not the role model most mothers have and I'm certainly not having Lorelei learn grammar from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, but there is a point to the quote I've chosen for this crazy mixed-up lifestyle. "We can't stop here, this is bat country". As Dr. Gonzo and Raul Duke are careening towards Las Vegas in Thompson's story-turned-Johnny Depp-movie, they are loaded up on so many mind-altering substances and drugs most of us have never before heard of, Duke starts to hallucinate. Hundreds of flying bats fill the sky while his "lawyer" tans himself in the passenger seat of their convertible. It's madness. It's hilarious, truer than most of us like to admit madness.

...this is bat country!

We all have our stories. Let's face it, we're all the star of our own movies. So I'm not going to claim that I've had a better or worse life than anyone else. I can say, though, that for me, it's been quite a ride and I'm just beginning. At this pace, God help me at 50. Life, parenthood, career, school, family, friends, love - very little of it is simple, none of it is easy and the best plan is to keep going. Keep moving, keep growing and improving and learning and failing and succeeding and traveling. I don't want to stop! Not here. Not when there is so much to do and see.

This isn't just a blog about Home Schooling. It's about living a life like no other. If that means freeing ourselves from regimented curriculum and arbitrary school calendars, then rock on. Lorelei is already getting a education beyond what VPK can give her. Let's learn by doing! Let's learn by trying and exploring.

Lorelei and I. This is our life. A life like no other; one that is constantly in motion and filled with love and adventure.

How to Live on 24 Hours a Day

Recently I finished an amazing book by Arnold Bennett (1867 - 1931) called How to Live on 24 a Day. While some may lower its status by referring to it as a mere 'self-help' book, I found it to be an astute satire on the most common of human complaints, there's never enough time.

Of course you should read it yourself, I mean it's free on Kindle for crying out loud. But I love reading bullet points or numbered lists (7 Fat Burning Foods, Do's and Don'ts of Job Hunting) so here's some clever wisdom from the 101 year old text.

• Every person in the world is equal - seriously. No one gets more time in their day than anyone else. Michelle Obama, Lindsey Lohan and I all get 24 hours. That's it! There's no bonus or penalty. 24 hours. How you spend it is your own business, but they are yours to spend. Which brings me to...
• Take your time back - all of that time spent waiting can be better spent on yourself. This doesn't mean giving yourself a manicure a stop light, although I have been known to sneak in a touch-up if time allows. It means rather than giving away your time to bad music or trite talk-show hosts, focus on accomplishing something. Even if that accomplishment is to relax yourself. Those precious moments when you are literally tied to a chair and forced to be still can be put to good use.
• Claim your time at home - find that time that seems to disappear between work and bed and do something with it. Improve yourself one way or another which takes us to...
• Classic Literature is no the only way to improve yourself - improvement comes in all forms. Sure you could take your time to learn a language or study quantum physics but if that's not what makes you a better person you've just given yourself to another obligation to dread
• Take it in stride - if this week you forget to relax or reclaim your time. Cool it! You can try again next week. Or tomorrow. Or in a few minutes. The absolute goal is one you will never achieve.

Now, these are not new theories by any means but they are said in such a way that makes you feel quite silly for ever forgetting them. Many of the concepts are the basis of Cognitive Psychology or many other forms of self-exploration.

The take away: It's your life! You're not living it for anyone else, so why are you following their rules? Live like no other.
Happy trails from Bat Country

Because I can...

Hello world. Not that any one's reading this yet but you will. I suppose I'll start with introductions.


My name is Amanda and I have no idea how I got here. Scratch that, I have a very good idea as to how I got here but I can't remember sitting down and plotting out my course to end up here. In fact, I don't remember plotting any course. Yesterday I was ditching Spanish II to walk down to McD's and today I'm writing curriculum notes to home school my daughter.

That about sums it up I suppose. But for those of you who like a little more information. I am a single (okay divorced but I hate saying it) mom of an amazing little girl who some days I want to drop kick. I work too hard for a national TV network (don't want to say who because I'm not really sure about legality and such).


Why am I blogging? Because after weeks of searching I have yet to find a truly helpful resource in single-parenting, fully-employed home schooling. Then there's the strange yet hard-won lessons of living 40 years in the span of 25 (I get a lot done in a day). That and I love to write but don't have the attention span (or time) for the Great American Novel.

So the hope is to a get a little something started. Some insights from the front line on what it's like to raise, support and teach a child while investing in your body, mind, soul and career.

If I haven't scared you away yet, welcome to the Great American Experiment. The new generation of movers and shakers.

Welcome to Bat Country